People

People keep on tellin me, that I do well in caring about everyone. But is it really that good to take othr people's problem just to ignore my own? I should be studying all day, that would hurry up my school and I could do my graduation half a year earlier. But what exactly am I doing all day instead?
Yeah right, I care about others. I help friends with stuff which they really could manage on their own. Am I just too good? Would others do that? Would others do that if it was about me? Well I never tried out that because I hate to get help from others.
If I had a problem, and I gotta whole lot of them, I would just manage it on my own. I dont go and ask others for help even if they would help me. I got a bunch of buddies around here, when I search for a job I could just ask them - instead I search in all the world but not there. I try to make my life complicated, nobody knows why and yea I do know it but I will not tell you.

See guys, we are on a point where I think I should take some distance. I got friends who load all their problems straight to me - but I dont want all these problems anymore. I dont wanna see my friend M. tryin suicide on drugs every week, I dont wanna help my friend with the probs with his girlfriend, I dont wanna listen to every single little prob my friends got with their exams and study and hell I dont wanna run around after stuff my friends could organize by themselfs.

But I will not get it done I will stay like that, I know that. I could throw away all those problems because they r not my own - but they would smash back like a boomerang. There is no reason for that, that's just life.

Today I woke up with a whole plan of a day. I wanted to go to work at 10 till 4, then go online, listen to my friend's problems who is now finally at the closed sanatory bcs they thought 4 tries for suicide in one week are just too much, then I wanted to wait till 7 for my other friend callin me, walk over to the sports bar and have a few coke wit my buddies.

But you know what? I changed my plans. I will not work today. I will do my damn exams which I should do for 3 weeks already. At 7 finally to close the day I will go, bring Ari his shop signs so he doesnt have to sell "Ari&Kebab" anymore and can sell "Ari's Kebab" instead and then I will sit down, have 3, 4, 5 coke on my buddies' bills and then sleep. No caring. Just me.

What the hell, why should I care about the whole world? Does the whole world care about me?